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As long as the other person(s) can actually hold a convo, don’t care if the conversation is as deep as the shallow end of the kiddie pool.
Not me. I can tell when you’re just smiling and nodding, and not actually listening. It’s very obvious when people do it, and is usually my cue to stop talking cause no one actually cares.
Yeah. I got over my hangups about small talk when I started working for a well-known people person with a big, room-filling personality. Watching him “work” several people a day, I realized he was just on autopilot, repeating the same lines over and over like an NPC. I realized, “shit, I can do that.”
Do you remember what he said? Maybe we can copy
I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee…
“Did you see that ludicrous display last night?”
what was wenger thinking sending walcott on that early?
The thing about Arsenal is, they always try to walk it in!
That is true. See ya later reev.
Mind 'ow you go.
One of them was “how’s life in the fast lane?” Colloquial and open ended, so the other person can go whatever direction they feel like with it.
I tried once an alternative to my current medication. It made me more communicative but it really felt like autopilot (something beside my consciousness) and i hated that.
I saw some mudcrabs the other day. Horrid creatures.
It’s disturbing how many single women put on their dating profiles how much they hate small talk. Like, how else do you get to know somebody?
Did you read the post?
The complaint is about guys who want to text forever and not move forward. Heard that a lot when I was dating hot and heavy. Seems lots of guys are either just lonely and wanting to talk on dating apps or who aren’t bold enough to ask for the date in a timely manner.
You have to establish, quickly, that there aren’t any screaming red flags, then ask for the first date. If dating isn’t what you’re there for, go find something else to do.
It’s also a filter for wishy-washy men. Sorry guys, women like men who are decisive. Which a lot of men take to mean “be a controlling jerk”. Not the same, not even close.
So I’m old and greying now (in my late 30s), have no major stake in this but I’d like to reframe something you’ve said from a different perspective based on life experience.
I disagree that women like men who are decisive. It’s going to sound like pedantry but I think that’s too broad. That’s not a message that helps young men find a good way.
In my experience, women like it when men are thoughtfully and respectfully decisive. Men are complex, sophisticated, have good days, bad days, strong days, days when they feel weak. Days when they’re decisive and days when they are not. I don’t think we can split men into two camps - decisive and indecisive - without oversimplifying. A man can be decisive one day and indecisive the next.
The messaging that reached me as a young man, which I detested, was to be decisive above all else (at the expense of thoughtfulness and consideration) because indecisiveness would repel women even more than being a bad person. That’s not the message that I’d like young men to hear. I’d like the world to be a better place than when I was growing up.
This comment is not so much directed at you as it is to others who may come across it and have had a similar experience. Be decisive but if and only when you’ve taken her and others into account. This is how you earn the respect of your contemporaries.
None of what you’ve said rings false or against my experience.
So I’m old and greying now (in my late 30s)
Fuck off, i had a boss in his late 40s that had two affairs (both in their 30s & blond) in my two years there. A small 5-people company, so not a status thing. To be fair, he looked ageless, but 30s is not too old for dating.
Btw, is this good small talk?
I’m old and greying now (in my late 30s)
You can kiss my ass, whipper snapper.
There could be some sort of gray area between the two options of a) whiny wet napkin and b) aggressive asshole?
We should put some Bro Scientists on exploring this ASAP
This isn’t a meme
That could be a meme
That is dada
This isn’t a hobbyhorse
But it’s a pipe! WTF? I just don’t get art. /s
It’s not a pipe, it’s a picture of a pipe.
Nice one MrsDoyle! You cut through the absurd B.S. beautifully! Thanks!
This is not philosophy
But I can perceive it, therefore it exists! If not philosophy, then what? /s
This isn’t a meme
About 1/3 of comms on here fail when I try to post. This space didn’t used to work, does now.
I post, the screen refreshes taking me back to a blank entry page. 🤷🏻 Someone looked into a few that I complained about and I’m not blocked. No idea.
Kay
content not viewable in your region
They said you need it. They didn’t say you could have it.
Another reason to boycott imgur it seems.
Here:
Isn’t the content blocked because imgur refused to implement ID-based age verification so as a result they just blocked users in the UK? Or am I missing something else here
Is that it? This isn’t even close to being NSFW
Imgur sells children’s data to advertisers, which is illegal in the UK. They have an impending fine over it and chose to block the whole of the UK in retaliation.
Ah, that explains it. So yes, boycott imgur.
This lasts right until I learn that someone likes bugs. Then I just show them the most recent bug picture I have taken. So much less energy. So much less nerve-wracking. I want to show you my cool bug photos and I want to see your cool bug photos. We know what we’re about (we’re about sharing cool bug photos).
I’m into cats, psychology and game development
do you have any bug pics on your computer
“ … and here I forgot an ampersand so the parameter was passed by value instead of by reference and I spent so much time …. Oh. You meant the other kind of bugs, didn’t you?”
So, how’s the weather?
There has been a month of constant wet drizzle here.
Weirdly cold for NW Florida, froze 2 nights in a row. Back to normal, 50F nights, 70F days.
That sounds lovely. Yesterday was cold, but today is going to be hot.
Same here. Pretty great, summer is so overrated!
I just wish i had more time for pike fishing is all.
I have no fucking clue how to do small talk. I tend to get too serious too fast and feel very incompetent and overwhelmed with this kind of almost meaningless noise. So it either ends in awkward silence or in me saying something too heavy for that kind of conversation, which tends to make things awkward as well.
Example, option A:
“It’s so nice and warm today.”
“Yeah, but did you know that death rates of sensitive population groups like elderly have increased due to more and intense heatwaves caused by global warming?”Option B:
“It’s so nice and warm today.”
“Yeah.”
[silence]Maybe I should get checked for autism, lol.
Maybe you should try “medium talk” so you don’t get bored and other randos don’t get weirded out. After a comment about the weather you can say that bc of the nice weather you were hiking/sportsing/otherwise hobbying in [location], and wondered if they’ve been there recently. Or if the weather was shit that you were indoors doing whatever hobby and ask what they tend to do in their free time.
Hobby talk can basically be as superficial or deep as you need it to be, so the conversation can progress from there as needed.
What a fantastic thread today
Helpful Lemmings abound
Option C:
“It’s so nice and warm today.”
“Nice and warm today?”
The Solid Snake approach
"That’s right, Snake. Warmth is a physical phenomenon produced by a variety of factors, typically the sun. It occurs most often in tropical environments, but it can even be found in arctic climates…especially between two people. But did you know humans are also capable of generating something known as “artificial warmth”? "
“Hrrm… artificial warmth, huh?”
“In fact, artificial warmth technologies have been incorporated into your sneaking suit. There’s a copper lining which is powered by recaptured electrochemical activities from your body, which acts as a sort of radiator.”
“…So you’re telling me I don’t need anyone else as long as I’ve got this suit on.”
“Well, I guess that’s one way of putting it…But, don’t forget about the ‘nice’ part, okay Snake?”
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Option C:
“It’s so nice and warm today.”
“Think it will last?”Do you understand on an intellectual (as opposed to instinctive) level which topics are too serious for small talk?
Because if not then start there. If so, then it’s possible to get better by taking your time to reply and think over what you’re about to say so you can back out!
The weather isn’t a topic that will last for long. Maybe you can ask “did you see that crazy rain/wind/hail/whatever” but either the subject is going to change or one of you will segue into “I remember when I was xyz and there was this crazy rain/wind/hail/whatever”.
Conversations are about finding connections and judging what the other person might want to hear. Sometimes there’s no connection though and you’ve just got to bring up something else. Questions are good because they allow the other person to talk :p
Absolutely love it
Thanks OP
My government seems to think otherwise.
I knew imgur was getting bad but that’s ridiculous.
Anyway, Here:
Technically that’s down to Imgur. Basically the UK government told Imgur to stop selling children’s data to advertisers and Imgur was like “No, we’re going to keep doing that and you’re blocked”.
But, OFCOM basically said “Okay sure you can block the UK and that will stop you selling any children’s data going forward, but you still sold children’s data in the past, so the fine still stands” and now it’s kinda in limbo because Imgur doesn’t have a UK office so there’s nowhere to extract the money from. However, even if Imgur did introduce age assurance (which is increasingly likely given that Imgur is based in California and California is flirting with age assurance requirements too) and therefore would be in compliance with the Online Safety Act, they would still be fined because they failed to protect children’s data in the past.
If it’s to simply make noises to assert non-violent intentions, then I say we can be more than our natural urges without giving into these innate tendencies. Sincerely, an introvert.
Just remove all violent people first
I’m an introvert and I enjoy small talk.
Yeah the scripted back and forth is not nearly as draining to the social battery. It’s almost like when you’re sitting quietly with someone enjoying three mute presence.
Not quite there, but like farther asking along that spectrum than say a conversation where actual information or promise to act is the goal.
Calm down, brother. You must resist those biological urges. We are civilized now. 😉
I’m sorry, sister. I will do better.
Amen
I like to start of with small talk and then get into political issues and ridicule people. No idea why they don’t like it
I don’t know what downvoting this makes me, but I am that
To clarify, there is a word that accurately describes how I feel, but I’m too stupid to know it
EDIT: disillusioned. The word was disillusioned
This… makes sense. Thank you
