Those cheating Democrats tricked me into being an obstinate asshole!

Don’t forget to add the dots to every one you get

Tweet of Theseus

Head on collisions not interesting enough? Try adding cacti to your dashboard!

Congratulations, you can use your maps!

On an unrelated note, your maps don’t matter, because we’re gonna let a pants-shitting child rapist cancel the elections as long as he says they’re “rigged.”

You’re not even exaggerating. I was trying to figure out how to let my son play Minecraft online. His account is a minor account, and I have it in my family unit with my Microsoft account. The help page in Minecraft says to enable online play in the online privacy and security settings for his account, and as far as I can tell, no such settings exist.

MF playing Command and Conquer or something?

We’re cooked

So which right-wing oligarch gets this one?

Yeah that was my first thought. How much is this influenced by 7 or 8 year loans on $70,000 trucks?

No, no, no, I voted for other people to be cast aside to die!

Right? If you’re gonna be a dick, why not fuck someone who deserves it?

So this is a “mental health crisis” shooting, and not a “we need to round up the leftists” shooting. Got it.

I mean, yeah…if nobody has ever seen you wear these clothes before, and you change immediately after the crime, and then drop the clothes in like 3 or 4 different dumpsters or trash cans in different places, how would they ever link it back to you? Especially if you buy all the clothes in different places, too, and pay with cash.

So if he was smart enough to buy new clothes, new hat, new sunglasses and then ditch them right after the shooting, then they have nothing to track him down with?

A cop almost had him, but pocket sand is just too effective!

I’ve never heard any politician brag about raising taxes before. I would say our kids and grandkids will be really confused when they study this in history class, but it’s hard to imagine there will still be history classes when climate change makes the earth largely uninhabitable.

Dunno, maybe an intelligence officer has unique skills suitable for resisting a KGB asset President 🤷‍♂️