Lovable Sidekick

Dad said we’re getting a sourcebox!

I don’t, I just play the thousands of mp3s I’ve collected over the years.

You can pretend a meme makes you right, or you could switch from dick to cock and from Karen to any other word that isn’t 2 million people’s first name.

woob woob woob… why I oughta…

I’m also gonna stand up right now and storm out without touching my dinner.

That rascal.

Also they had stuff made outta bronze. Do you have bronze? I don’t have bronze.

My sister in law was written up in the New England Journal of Medicine for surviving a massive overdose of malaria medication she was given by mistake. It was something like 20x what any human has ever survived.

When I was in therapy my therapist said she could write a paper on me. This was flattering but also hmmm.

Nice! I don’t know where I first saw it, maybe on a New Yorker cover, but the image came to me so I googled Norman Rockwell self portrait and found it.

Get off my god damn lawn!

2008 called for you but they didn’t leave a msg.

So… what did you say that link was?

Hey don’t try your backyarding and barneyrubbling on me!

Anxiety over screwing up virtue signaling increases.

Fox News: So-called “scientists” convince a so-called “court” to believe global warming myth.

Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE it’s plugged in?

I hate when buses come over. They’re always late and they stink up the place, and never clean up after themselves.

Federal Directive 774B-2: In all official documents the word “blood” shall be replaced by “God’s life-giving fluid”.

Student: B-but what if I can’t stand the sight of blood!?