Low energy

On a pallet jack built for twoooo

It didn’t tear my family apart. They’re all still together watching their hate speech and celebrating genocide. The only thing that changed is I have a lot of free time where I don’t have to interact with them anymore.

Davy Crockett is King of the Wild Frontier. We are trying to avoid a monarchy.

When the tools of peace are taken away, the only resort are the weapons of… Well, I don’t want to get ahead if myself…

I had to reread it to make sure it was a quote. Holy fucking shit.

I may live poorly, but at least I don’t have to work to do it.

Maybe she was far less weird, but she was still far too weird to be someone I trust in a position of power. A rabid raccoon is a lot less threatening than a rabid polar bear, but I’m not sticking my hand near either of their mouths.

Prosecution: “We didn’t do it.”

Defense: “Well, we have a recording of the call, and we sure didn’t record it.”

Prosecution: “Uhhhh, there was a warning before the call that it would be recorded.”

Defense: “Well, on the recording, no such warning exists…”

Prosecution: “Ohhhh, that recording… Ummm, yeah, that was an intern, and they stopped listening as soon as they realized it was wrong. Pinky promise.”