Hope the monkeys stay safe from the native Mississippians
Sadly, unlikely, as the monkeys are wildly unable to, in such an alien environment, identify banjo strumming from other less-foreboding native wildlife sounds.
Herpes and COVID together ? Wow.
If I were sick, and you packed me into a truck and headed for Florida, I’d be aggressive, too.
I hear that they prefer to be called MAGA, not monkeys.
Quick someone call Dustin Hoffman!
And no one noticed
They were not infected with anything, and they posed no threat to humans. That was all just something claimed by an inbred hick sheriff, who was looking for an excuse to use his military equipment to kill monkeys.
This sounds like a sketch from South Park.
Sounds like a job for Jimbo
It was coming right for me!
Nothing to see here… Just the GOP terrorists getting ahead of the next big thing they helped cause.
I am surprised, angry, and now scared that this is not an Onion article…
Now that’s a headline that isn’t clickbait, it fucking click kidnapped me
Except that it did turn out to be lying clickbait.
According to authorities, the Rhesus monkeys were on their way to a testing facility in Florida
“Florida Man’s Outbreak Monkeys on the Rampage in Mississippi”
Damn. I’m taking stock of everything we’ve lost in the headline:
- no reference to “slammed,” “burned,” or other intense attack words
- accurate summary of the situation
- nothing overstated
- no key details left out
- isn’t a listicle
- nothing inviting the reader to see more by promising the rest of the headline in the article, none of that saved-you-a-click shit
My god, this might actually be good honest journalism!
“diseased monkeys pan careless driver”
They changed to article. Edited out all references to diseases.
So crappy journalism.
Edit Apparently a lo of people have mentioned this here. I simply didn’t read far enough.
They changed to article. Edited out all references to diseases.
So crappy journalism.
I’m starting to think that link aggregators like the Threadiverse software and Reddit should keep a log of headlines, or at least headlines that they see, because it’s a real issue for discussion on those sites. Like, maybe check and update at a geometrically-increasing interval (at submission time, after 1 hour, after 2 hours, after 4 hours, after 8 hours, etc).
They forgot hepatitis
Not real.
It was in the article. Emphasis on was since the entire article has been changed since I posted
If you go back and re-read the article, you’ll find it’s been edited, and now has no mention of any diseases and says the monkeys weren’t infectious. So I think it was clickbait, after all.
That’s just what the corpos over at Big Rhesus Monkey wants you to think.
That’s how they get ya
I didn’t expect the 28 days series to be what turned out to be a documentary but I’m also not surprised
leave it to America to have something like this happen.
Poor monkeys need someone to give them a hug
I actually had this one on my bingo card.
Mine implied that the truck made it further along toward its destination, but yeah: samesies
